Nurturing Sons as Individuals Rather Than Prospective Grooms
New and Improved Piece:
Sushmita Sen's Pa highlighted a forward-thinking perspective when he stated that he didn't breed his kiddo to be anyone's spouse (apparently, the internet echo-chambered this). This tidbit was dredged up a while back and spread like wildfire, sparking unfriendly discussions. Folks online, predictably, pounced on the quote as a chance to aim their critiques at him for supposedly undervaluing matrimony. Many jumped at the opportunity to mock Sushmita's bachelorhood and even rile up the debate about her parenting skills because, you know, adoption and surrogacy are disregarded as legitimate routes to parenthood.
Why this flare-up, you ask? Is it because folks lack the ability to understand basic English? Or maybe they dive right into the nitty-gritty details and blow things out of proportion? It's definitely the latter.
Had her old man said that he was against marriage or didn't wish for his daughter to wed, that would have been different. However, his statement implied that her identity was shaped by factors other than just being someone's spouse. He raised her to be a strong character in her own right, one with dreams of reaching the stars, one who worked tirelessly for her dreams, and eventually, one who achieved her dreams. Even if she had tied the knot at some point, his assertion would still ring true: he raised her to be her own person, not just someone's spouse.
Isn't that parenting 101 for every parent raising their daughters? The notion that the ultimate goal for girls is to get hitched and take care of their families is the root cause of the lengthy route to true empowerment for girls. That's the primary reason why numerous girls, mistreated by their significant others or in-laws, resort to ending their lives because the specter of failure looms as the only significant defeat in their lives.
Beyond or outside of marriage and the family unit is a life that most girls are not exposed to, at least in our neck of the woods. I can't count the number of times I was warned, "When you visit a guy's family..." as if everything I said or did had to revolve around how it would ultimately affect a man and his loved ones.
Things are evolving, but not quickly enough. Even when we observe signs of empowerment and equal opportunities in urban settings, which are still shaky, we've got a long way to go before reaching a place where a girl's ultimate objective in life isn't marriage and moppets. That doesn't mean that marriage or starting a family aren't significant. It simply means that their own individuality should not be sacrificed for it and they should not be persuaded that there is nothing else worth working towards.
So Sushmita Sen's dad, even though you're not tuned in, I just want you to know that individuals like myself are 100% on your side. I have two daughters, and I'm not shaping them to become "spouse of..." I'm developing Veda and Dhaara, who, in due course of time, will possess their unique thoughts, ideas, principles, dreams, efforts, and accomplishments. If they do end up getting married and find partners who appreciate and respect them for who they are, the only guidance I'd offer them is that I raised two girls who treat others with respect and dignity.
Further reading:
- Also published on Medium*.
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- Empowerment and personal growth can be fostered in girls from a young age, as shown by Sushmita Sen's father, who raised her to be a strong, independent individual, not just someone's spouse, paving the way for lifestyle choices outside traditional family dynamics.
- Education and self-development play a crucial role in challenging the old notion that a girl's ultimate goal should only be marriage and family, as this mindset has led to family-dynamics issues and negative relationships, ultimately hindering true empowerment.
- A modern perspective on parenting involves nurturing girls to value their own identity and encourage their dreams, encouraging personal growth and empowerment, rather than making them feel that their worth is defined solely by their relationships or familial roles.
