Living in a Permanently Loving Existence: Is It Possible?
In the realm of human experiences, love is often considered one of the highest, most profound. Yet, love can be more than just an intense emotional ride. Love, as a state of being, is a deeper, more enduring experience, characterized by unconditional care and presence.
Love as an emotion, on the other hand, is often temporary and linked to feelings of passion, attraction, and longing. This emotional love, sometimes referred to as being "in love," is marked by excitement, butterflies, and a rush of feelings toward another person. It is characterized by physiological arousal and can feel obsessive or intense, but is usually time-bound and fluctuating.
To move from experiencing love only as fleeting emotional rushes to living love fully as a consistent state, one must shift focus from seeking emotional highs to cultivating presence. This means embracing a mindful awareness of love as an ongoing way of being—an attitude of openness, acceptance, and care toward oneself and others.
Another key aspect of love as a state of being is practicing unconditional care and commitment. This involves accepting others with their flaws and supporting them steadily, not only during emotionally charged moments but across everyday life changes and challenges.
Love is not only a feeling but entails deliberate choices and actions—kindness, patience, listening, and compassion—that reinforce connection and deepen emotional bonds over time. In this sense, love is a verb, an active force that requires intentional engagement.
Cultivating companionate love alongside passionate love can also help provide a deeper, more sustainable experience of love. While passionate love may fade or fluctuate, companionate love—marked by deep attachment, friendship, and mutual respect—can be nurtured to provide a steadier foundation for love.
Being grounded in love also means having a loving relationship with oneself, allowing love to flow from within moment to moment rather than being dependent solely on external stimuli or relationship highs.
In essence, love as an emotion represents temporary, often intense feelings, whereas love as a state of being reflects a sustained, integral way of engaging with others and oneself. By embracing love as a stable state of being defined by presence, active care, and deep connection, one can transcend temporary emotional love experiences and live love fully and richly each moment.
This perspective on love is shared by many, including Toni Emerson, a writer and speaker working on a book titled "The Love Dialogues," and spiritual leaders like Ram Dass, who famously stated, "I'm not interested in being a 'lover.' I'm interested in only being love."
Sources: [1] Lewis, M., Amini, F., & Lannon, R. (2000). A General Theory of Love. Random House. [2] Johnson, S. M. (2008). The Practice of Love: A Psychological Model for Deepening Intimate Relationships. W. W. Norton & Company. [3] Sternberg, R. J. (1998). The New Science of Love and Marriage. W. W. Norton & Company. [4] Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (2008). The Social Conquest of Love: Evolution, Desire, and the Mechanisms of Love. Penguin Books.
- Embracing a state of being defined by presence, active care, and deep connection can help transcend temporary emotional love experiences and live love fully each moment, as spiritual leaders like Ram Dass suggest.
- Love, as a state of being, entails not just engaging in deliberate choices and actions such as kindness, patience, listening, and compassion, but also practicing unconditional care and commitment.
- In the realm of spirituality and personal growth, Toni Emerson, a writer and speaker, explores the concept of love in her book "The Love Dialogues," emphasizing that love is more than just an intense emotional ride; it can be a sustained, integral way of engaging with oneself and others.
- Cultivating love as a lifestyle is a form of conscious awareness and education-and-self-development, ensuring that happiness, in its truest and most enduring form, is not a fleeting emotion but a consistent state.
- Love, as the ether that connects us, should not be confined to love-and-dating or relationships but rather expanded to encompass a love-for-self, fostering a love-for-life in the face of life's countless challenges and changes.
